i’m “putting myself out there”

Finally making my blog public.

[Deleting most of my old posts before doing so.]

This perfectionism!

It’s getting in the way of “putting myself out there”.

I wanted to be a writer.

Until I read Kazuo Ishiguro’s An Artist of the Floating World.

It would take me decades of pure self-torture

to be able to write that well!

I’m a voracious reader.

So I know what good writing sounds like.

Or at least know enough to know I’m nowhere near good.

Can’t even pass my own quality checks.

So I need to remind myself that:

Of course, a stronger impediment was my fear

of being judged. (Vulnerability alert!)

I didn’t build up this hard shell around me all these years

just so I could let my hair down in my 30s.

But I know that if I want to experience something new,

I need to do things I haven’t tried.

(Duh!)

[This preceding cliche is making me cringe.]

These posts are going to be time capsules.

It would be interesting to see how my thoughts would age.

I’m writing with certain readers in mind.

One of those readers is my future self.

I wonder what he would think of me.

I’m “Putting Myself Out There”